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Adam vs Eve
left|border|600px Epic Rap Battles of History #28 is the twenty-eighth installment of the Epic Rap Battles of History series. It was released on February 11. It features biblical first humans on Earth Adam and Eve to settle who's better, man or woman? Cast EpicLLOYD as Adam Jenna Marbles as Eve Nice Peter as Steve Lyrics Eve: This battle's gonna end like every argument does With you kissing my ass and begging me for a rub I made a map, motherfucker, and I'm reading it too Gives me specific directions on how to fuck with you I know that you like to think you're so macho But you smell like ball sacs and nachos I work while you and your boyfriend Steve Drink and play sports in a fantasy league You're as sharp as a stick that I rub on my lips So go ahead, take a shot. I'm sure that you'll miss Like the laundry, the toilet, the grocery list If you stopped fucking up, I wouldn't have to get pissed! Adam: My life was fine till you had to come along and wreck it Could you please just shut your face for ten seconds? You cry about everything but can't decide what you want "I'm hungry", "I'm fat", "I'm cold", "I'm hot" You call that complex, but yo I call you a mess You take two hours to cum, three more to get dressed You got a lotion for this. You got a cream for that Got any perfume that smells like "Get the fuck off my back!" When things are good, they're great, and it's like I'm dreaming Until your junk starts bleeding and you turn into a demon It ain't summer Eve, don't try to play me like a douche You want a bite of my fruit? Well you can swallow the truth! Eve: Don't even bring up swallow! The first man on Earth ain't a tough act to follow One pop, chump, and you're hung like a weasel Pfft, ditch the fig leaf, get yourself a pine needle! You want alone time? Have it! In fact Suck your own dick, and shave your own back That apple's the best thing I've bit so far Now I see how much of a dick you are Adam: I wasn't listening. Are you still flapping those lips? I was just thinking, yo did I give up a rib for this? Woman, I just don't know what your problem is All I know is you're acting like a colossal bitch! ... I'm sorry. Eve: ...I'm sorry, too. Adam: Alright, nice! Eve: Don't even think about it! Adam: Okay, that's fine, we can eat. Scrapped lyrics 'God: ' You both need each other, but you need some other things to. 'Cause only one whole plus one whole can possibly equal two. So work on yourself and inspire homie, Don't tell her what to do. 'Cause your little penis can't imagine what her vagina is prepared to do. When she pushes out a tiny little version of your whiny ass. You're gonna feel pretty stupid about the fight you had about the trash. Poll Who Won? Adam Eve Trivia *This is the first battle to feature a man battle a woman. *Third to feature women battling, the first two being Sarah Palin vs Lady Gaga and Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe. *Third time Nice Peter does not rap in the ERB. *This was the first battle to be age-restricted on YouTube for a short period of time. *This is the first battle since Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney to feature an Epic Dance Battle of History, as seen here. *This is the first battle to be subtitled in Spanish. *God was supposed to rap a small verse in the battle, but ERB scrapped the idea. (Lyrics above). Category:Epic Rap Battles of History Category:Season 2 Category:Epic Rap Battles of History 28 Category:Adam Category:Eve Category:Jenna Marbles Category:EpicLLOYD Category:Nice Peter